I got it. I finally got it. A meat bouquet of my very own.
It’s hard to describe why I’ve so longed to possess The Manly Man Co.’s Beef Jerky Bouquet (order here). The company initially contacted me a year ago to review one here on my blog, which—OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER—means I did not pay the $89 to buy one myself, but was offered one for review.
One glance at the product on The Manly Man Co’s website after getting the invite, and knew I had to say yes. Its kitschy glory was simply too much for this basic Becca to resist.
I deferred shipment for a few weeks, because it would have arrived right after last year’s Day of Orange. When you wake up to these skies at 8:00am, you know you’re not going to be taking great photographs of food in natural lighting anytime soon.
No editing, I swear. This was 8:45am in Oakland.
Thanks, Climate Change. 😐 Alas, when I finally told the company to go ahead, there was a mix-up—I received the Best Jerky Gift Box ($65) instead. I was deeply disappointed, though not at all by the jerky. The Best Jerky Gift Box yielded a fantastic array of The Manly Man Co’s many different jerky varieties. In my review then, you can see I was quite impressed by their flavors and textures, which ranged from machine-pressed teriyaki strips to pizza-topped pepperoni jerky to more old-fashioned dehydration with maple bacon and whiskey flavorings.
Why yes, I did review them at Christmas time.
The Manly Man Co. makes good jerky! Yet I had psyched myself up for the meat bouquet so hard. To not receive one after all that? Brutal disappointment.
Until now.
Imagine my excitement when The Manly Man Company offered to have me review their Beef Jerky Flower Bouquet after all! Did it live up to my expectations? EVERY SINGLE ONE. First, in the sampler box I had reviewed, all typical styles of jerky had been present except one—a Slim Jim-esque beef stick. Well, guess what serves as flower stems for the bouquet? Beef sticks! They were very juicy.
Second, the bouquet truly did have a scrumptious aroma.
Ah, the glorious scent of meat. My kitten successfully snagged a petal when I wasn’t looking, which confirms the aroma’s appeal.
Third, if you know me, you know a large part of why I blog about food and drink is that I LOVE variety and want to try everything. Thus, I love that The Manly Man Co. offers a Full Mix option and gave me one. Thus “full mix” yielded another silly play on the flower bouquet concept, and satisfied my needs with original, teriyaki, and hot to choose from.
Additionally, having a mix meant I had two distinct colors of jerky in the bouquet, making it feel that little extra bit more like an actual bouquet. I do love bountiful color in my floral arrangements.
A Matilda’s Bloombox bouquet—I order from them on the regular to shine light in that pandemic darkness.
Fourth, The Manly Man Co. takes care to protect the bouquet’s quality and its shape. Each stem comes inserted into a plastic ring, so that none end up smushed or having lost their shape in any way.
The ring clearly visible.
You could keep your meat blossoms in that plastic ring if you wanted to make sure they stay that way for days. Like a true bouquet, the stems will start to “wilt” a bit in time.
Fifth, the bouquet comes with a pint glass or a beer stein for its vase. It’s a nice memento of your bouquet, once all the flowers have disappeared wholly into your belly.
The flower stems freed from the plastic ring in the “vase.”
This isn’t complicated, y’all. If you think the idea of a meat bouquet is fun, buy one for yourself or for someone in your life who you know appreciates beef jerky as either a hearty protein snack or a tasty one, because this’ll satisfy both criteria. Yes, the $89 price tag is high, but you’re really paying for the novelty factor and that delighted smile on your recipient’s face when they open the box to find something they truly would never have expected.
Now, who wants to send me The Manly Man Co.’s dozen bacon roses for review when they’re back in stock? 😉 They come dipped in caramel. I repeat: THEY COME DIPPED IN CARAMEL.
Bouquet received Tuesday June 15. Consumed within two weeks and tasty to the last petal.
